Smoking: freedom or sin?

I have never smoked. It has never appealed to me and I think it’s gross. When I was young I knew my mom would die if she found out I tried it so I just avoided it. Both my mom’s parents smoked and she hated it .  I remember the smell being entrapping and lingering- yuck. So I have made it through my life 28 years smoke-free and thought it would never be something I’d ever do.

So why am I sharing my feelings on smoking? Because I have been hit with a dilemma. Here in Pei they have had exposure to some religiosity. They have heard certain things about “God” and what He likes and doesn’t. In Pei they think that if you smoke God won’t be happy with you- which they have no idea what that means but lets keep moving forward with the story.  They think the same thing if you chew beetle nut., which is their all time favorite thing to chew. It’s like the tribal version of gum, it help curb they’re hunger and it grows everywhere around here, so it’s as easy as getting a Costco supply of it. Someone in Pei recently pointed out that I don’t smoke or chew beetlenut and esteemed my behavior as something to be followed. Here I was just going about my days thinking that I was flying under the radar and not drawing attention. Quiet the opposite came to light.  So the easy solution is to chew the beetlenut right? Nope, tried that and threw up. It’s really bitter and somehow dries out your mouth while simultaneously making you spit! Anyway I couldn’t get through that part of the process and it was only the first step of 3. But I don’t want to smoke, so what do I do and is it really a big deal?

Recently I have was reading in 1 Corinthians 10 and stumbled across this: “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God….For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved.” Vs 31& 33(b). It’s funny but I really felt like God was asking me to give up me freedoms of not smoking in order for my Pei friends to be challenged in their thinking.

See the thing is, it is a big deal for them to understand that God doesn’t accept us based on what we do or don’t do. Everything is about Jesus. Who He is, what He has done for us forever and that’s it. We can not earn God’s approval or manipulate Him by our behavior. When we Believe in Jesus we are no longer ourselves but we are seen in Christ. This is why my family is here living in a tribe, learning the language and culture. It so important to stay here and be able to understand the beliefs they are already holding on to, the darkness that they have been slaves to and how we can most effectively explain (in their own language) who Jesus is. And the Truth about the Christian life and be here to disciple them- do life with them and watch the Holy Spirit change the Pei ‘s thinking.

It’s interesting that I was holding on to this issue like I was in control of it. I have already “sacrificed” so much- I live in the jungle, my kids don’t know what a farm or a movie theater is!  But God so sweetly reminded me that I have died and He has given me new life. I am nothing apart from Him and my honor is to bring others into His Saving presence. So 3 days ago- I smoked! In front of half the village while they were playing volleyball. Everyone noticed and turned and looked at me- it was hilarious. And I hated every moment of it, burned my tongue and the taste was stuck in my mouth for 2 days. But I did it unto the Lord.

So thankful for a God that is intimately involved in my life where He challenges me to grow in Grace and to draw people to Himself.  

The Birth Day Story

It started like a normal day I was outside with the two kids.  Esther came around and asked if i knew Maria was in labor. I didn't. I wanted to see Maria so I asked if it was culturally appriate to go see her. Esther said it was so I let my co-workers know had Justin watch the kids and into the village we went at 9:00am

Here is the labor and delivery room.

As we approached I noticed new construction under a familiar house. This is customary as Pei women prepare to give birth. When the labor starts to pick up, some friends will make this little fenced off area under a house for you to get "more comfortable" in. It's also to keep eyes away as men are not allowed to see the woman/girl until the baby is delivered and both mom and baby have spent 1-2 nights outside, in the "recovery" room (picture to follow). So we get there and sit down with some ladies on a canoe flipped over like a bench and get filled in. Maria is probably 15 or 16 years old. No one here knows their age so it's a guessing game. Maria is one of my tribal daughters. Each one of us have been adopted into families and Maria's actual mom is my big sister. Make sense? Anyway back to the labor. Maria had been in labor since the previous day. Which was funny because I was having a language session with her, recording her voice and hanging out with her and she never mentioned it! But she also never shared with the tribe publicly that she was pregnant. She is not married so the whole situation is a little hush hush. When morning came she was unable to deny that a baby was coming.

After hearing from the ladies I asked my big sister if I could come into the "room". Mind you there were about 5 kids and 3 adults in the area. She said yes and I was in. I just sat around the fire that was there and watched. I took out my iPod and started timing her contractions. They were all over the place and it seemed like she was getting through them alright. The baby was not head down so some lady's were trying to direct the baby down by rubbing it into position. I knew we had a while to go and I should document the event...

The labor hanger

Around 11:00 I went to my house to get her some water and to check in with Justin. I grabbed a bit to eat, filled him in, and headed back to the "labor ward". When I got there I decided to join in on cooking the leaves over the fire. This process is simple but somehow became a difficult one. All you do is tie a bunch of these Tanget leaves together and hold them over the fire turning them till they are hot. Then when she starts to squirm from the rising contraction you pass them to the ladies closest to her and they rub them on her wherever she directs. Simple right? Not entirely.

Getting the leave hot

There were so many unsupervised kids in and out of this small cramped space and they were handling the leaf heating up station...yeah... not a good idea. They were playing and not preparing for the next wave to hit. Maybe it's because I have experienced the pain of child birth without pain medicine and know the intensity of contractions that this was irritating to me. I decided to take over heating the leaves. This got the kids excited and before I knew it there were kids climbing on my back, playing with my hair and trying to teach me the proper way to tie the leaves up. Then it became a competition of whose leaves would I heat up first, so on and so forth. After about an hour everyone got bored and I found myself and my co-worker in the "room" alone with Maria. So were now the ones to rub the hot leaves on her when contractions came. At some point during this phase the girl's dad came in with a chunk of raw ginger root for her to eat. She said it burn her mouth and take the pain away!?!? Yeah or you have two different kinds of pain at the same time- not so fun, but interesting.

Things began to progress and her contractions were getting very strong and coming consistently. It was crazy to be in there watching everything and how everyone was interacting. The girl would scream out for her mom with each contraction and her mom had this whatever attitude. She didn't come close or come to comfort her or encourage her. It is so contrary to what I've experienced. The disconnect or care between them was jarring to me. Then her water broke... on my foot. It is hard to escape when everyone is squatting in a huddle surrounded by a wall of Palm leaves.
The time came and she was ready to start trying to push. As Maria was squatting and hanging onto this rope I was asked to move up to the "front row" to be ready to check things out. I moved forward with one other lady, Madrina. Then one lady got behind Maria and held her like she was hugging her. As each contraction came she squeezed Maria's stomach and pushed the baby down. There was a lot of screaming and kids coming in the middle to see what was going on. I thought it was the craziest thing... until at the next contraction a pig walked in through the fence! I immediately started making weird sounds with my mouth trying to imitate the way people scare off animals. It was one of those moments where you stop and think, where am I? I ended up throwing a stick at the pig and with some help from the others we got it out.

The moment came and the lady who was pushing on Maria's belly told me to look on the next one to see if there was much progression. Sure enough we saw the head! She came out on the following contraction and fell onto the pile of leaves placed there for her. This was the scariest moment as the baby on the pile of leaves looked completely lifeless. It was at that moment I started praying and freaking out in my head. The baby wasn't moving or breathing. I felt like as the seconds dragged on I was leaning in and everyone else was backing up. Someone said "she's dead".
NO! was the only thing that came to mind, no way this was happening. I looked at the new mother and she seemed apathetic to the whole thing. When I surveyed the room all eyes were on me.
I said, "she's not breathing. We need to pick her up and clear out her mouth." Crickets... No one would touch her. For some reason or another their belief system doesn't permit them to touch a new born. I can't know why or the details until I progress further in language. But they all said I could if I wanted to or "whatever you want to do" is how I can best translate it. I quickly prayed and wrestled through my head what I should do. If i picked her up and she was dead what would the implications be for me and what would the tribe do or want from our team. On the other hand if I didn't and she died without me doing anything... I thought to myself "i'm picking her up." Justin had sent me down a towel, a paper blanket, baby wipes and gloves. I put them on as quickly as possible. The scene was quite messy. I picked her up and slightly panicked in mind. She was lifeless and had no control or movement when I touched her. I thought I might accidentally break her neck trying to turn her over in these slippery gloves! Thankfully I didn't. I turned her over and tried clearing her mouth with the old hook technique. Some gooey stuff came out but no response. Two ladies grabbed sticks and started poking her and tapping on her trying to elicit a response. Nothing still. I decided I needed to hold her with one hand (her chest/belly and head) and with the other pat on her back. So I transition and started patting her. Still nothing, I tried the mouth swipe again and then back to the patting. After what felt like 10 minutes, probably 2 or 3 she let out a tiny baby sigh. Not a cry or even coughing, a sweet sigh! I was praising the Lord and completely humbled in that moment. I still can't believe it happened.

I laid her down on the bed of leaves as the ladies resumed tapping her with sticks. She never cried but started to wiggle a little. I was so confused and just wanted to hear that baby scream and cry so I knew she was fine. The only thing I could think was that it is SO hot and humid in Pei that the temperature wasn't shocking to her. Which gives you a pretty good idea of how hot and gross it is here- like a womb!

I grabbed a couple wipes and handed them to a lady who started cleaning up her face. The mom laid down and went to sleep. Maria hadn't touched the baby, expressed happiness or even smiled at her. After the baby was wiped down I asked to hold her again as the ladies were starting to clean up the scene.  I was moved to the entrance with the baby. Holding her reminded me of when Paisley was born with big brown eyes and wide awake.

As i was holding her my right hand lady in the Madrina was retelling the story in Pefiyahe.
Meanwhile, Maria was woken up, stripped down and had 2 buckets of water dumped on her to clean her up. This was all right in front of everyone. She got some different clothes and went into the corner to rest.

Madrina said to me, "you have to name her". I quickly looked at Maria and was like "Thank you but no, you name her." Maria said no, that i had to. Madrina than explain that, I gave her life so I had to name  her!  I told them I would think about it. I gave the baby to Maria and decided it was time to hit the shower and sanitize!!
As i was walking up to the house i saw Justin and the kids on the porch. He asked me how it was going and i said "i just delivered the baby". He was like no way and then i shared the whole story and that they wanted me to name her. Justin was in disbelief- me the one who: passes out when i get shots, gets faint when people talk about their things going on inside their bodies and don't even start with your lymph nodes- gross. But i just delivered a baby in the jungle. I can honestly say that i never thought i would do that or be able too. It just allows me to see that in my weakness His power is made perfect. All the glory to God- nothing inside me, Lauren could do that.

Here is where Mom and Baby stayed for 2 nights after her birth.

It's custom for them to sleep outside for 2 nights with a baby girl and 1 night if it's a boy. No man or boy was allowed to see the Mom or baby during this time.








 

When she is allowed back into the house she can't come through the front door, but has to make a new ladder and a separate side entrance.

It was hard to know what to do in this whole situation. I wanted to sit back and see what they do and learn about there culture but it was challenging me in so many areas.
I remember thinking how weird it was that no one was fawning over this baby and that the mom didn't want to HOLD or stare at her for that matter. So different and revealing. It showed me why we are here. It showed me how important it is for this sweet baby have the chance at a physical life and a chance to know her Creator. To be completely loved and delighted in, by Him. It is so cool to be here and hopefully watch a people group come to know and love Jesus and see their whole world change.

This is when we named her

It's common in Pei to name someone after a relative that has past away. I choose to follow that thought and named her after my grandmother. Her maiden name was Blake.

Thank you for all your encouraging words and prayers as we continue to do life with these people, learning their language and culture so we can effectively share the Gospel.
(Side note: Since Maria is not married she will give the baby away. Her cousin, who is a young single man has offered to take her since no one else wanted her because she's a girl. )

A Typical Day...

 It's been awhile since i posted and i thought maybe you were all curious what we are up too out here in the jungle. We are pretty well settled in our house in Pei and have moved into full time Cultural and Language Study. Each day has become pretty scheduled so that we can be diligent and dedicated to this work. (*justin's days looks much different from mine- he gets 8-10 hour days studying, while i strive to
5 hours in)
Anyway, one day i decided to document a day in pictures so you can get an idea of my daily life.
Each morning we have a little time to wake up and gear up for the day. Paisley decided to sing "He loves us" to Pax and iron man. Thanks to our sweet friend Ally Glover, Paisley plays this song a lot and even tries out the piano on the iPad for an added musical experience.

Quickly followed by a dance/dress up session while i do the laundry...

Now we are ready to head out to the village till lunch.

Paisley jumped into a canoe with her tribal sister to get a little lesson on how to use the oar, sit properly,  and for some fun :) 

Pax however is not so fond on the canoe yet and chose to stay on land and make some play knives out of wood with his tribal brother, Natin. I love this picture of them below- Pax looks up to him already and Natin is very kind to teach him things that Pei boys like to do- which typically involve knives and bow and arrows!

I learned how to make a basket for catching river shrimp with my tribal daughter. This is a "Culture Event" and I took pictures of all the steps we took and had her record in Pefiyahe what we were doing and all the objects names. This is how each day goes in language study. This is at the same time the kids are playing right beside me.

Now that i got a good "CE" done and ready for studying in the afternoon, we decide to go see what Justin is up too.  

Found him helping a friend make the roof of a house. 

Took a minute to say hi and play in a new area; then off to the house to check in on the radio. 

Each day at noon we are required to check in with New Tribes Mission. This allows them to keep tabs on us and know if anyone is sick or in need of assistance. After check in i make lunch and the kids go down for a rest/nap time. At this time I put in my ear buds and review the recordings i got from the morning and all "old stuff".  

Making bread because we ran out

When the kids get up we have an hour of inside play and mommy time. Today we did bean bag toss.

Time to to head back out till dinner

It's also a chance for me to get some more language and to try out what i have been studying.

The kids always end up in the river with there friends...

Eating some snacks...

Seeds in her hand are a go to snack in Pei

Our favorite snack is fresh coconut. Justin cutting it with a bush knife, which is the multi tool of the jungle for sure. After this the kids and I go inside. I get them cleaned up and start dinner. Justin comes in for dinner and bed time each night. When the kids are to bed he heads back into the village for a couple hours at night. And i clean up and relax! (or study)

It's been really great getting into a routine with the kids but when you live in the tribe you never know what the day will hold.

The Final Evaluation

Many of you know that I get totally anxious when I have to go to see the doctor, the dentist and even the eye doctor. It is not out of the ordinary for me to pass out if there is a needle involved or sometimes even a test (like “which do you see clearer?”-true story). So let me tell you that my anxiousness has continued here in PNG with the Language Evaluations/Test!

Let me set the stage for you. A well-experienced Missionary will grade your language ability through a various set of grammar sentences, have you explain foreign concepts to a national, and a comprehension check. Ok, here I am 5.0 foot Lauren and here comes my Evaluator 6 foot 3 inches, grew up in PNG (so his Pidgin is flawless), and has a successful tribal church plant in the Sepik...Brooks Buser (have you heard of his Dad, Brad Buser???) with a clipboard in hand! Intimidated much? Well as always my heart pounded and I felt a wave of heat rush over me. My language helper Meta thought my nerves were so funny and laughed at me. Of course this was a particularly hot day with NO breeze so I was aware of the sweat that was rolling down my face and back-that is the worst. Brooks sat down and the Test began. First I had to explain my sister’s upcoming visit- how she will get here, what it will feel like to see her, what are we going to do, what I anticipate it will feel like when she leaves. Then i had to explain the Olympics! I barely know how they work and had to ask him some clarity questions because I have never really thought through all the details. I talked about them being this summer and that ice skating was my favorite sport. Come to find out afterward that ice skating is not in the Summer Olympics, oops she doesn’t need to know that! I listened to Meta tell me a story and had to rephrase it back to Brooks. Then the grammar check. Lastly, he had me explain 2 expressions:

“The early bird catches the worm” and “He who laughs last, laughs the loudest”

(Tall man holding Paisley is Brooks)

By the grace of God I was able to translate them literally first and than tell the meaning of the expression. It was funny to try and explain those because I found myself thinking of other idiomatic expressions to try and clarify but that would only make it worse. I realize that English is confusing and doesn’t exactly play by the rules but it is my heart language- the way I think, feel, live, love and laugh in. With that said, I did pass my test and am looking forward to continuing my relationships here with people in their heart language. To encourage, challenge, joke, and love through their language.

Care Packages, Updated

First of all thank you for everyone who have sent us a package. It always seems to come at the perfect time to encourage our family. It is interesting how exciting and uplifting a package from home can be. The way it smells like america (target, wal-mart, etc.) and makes us feel loved and remembered. It is strange how you can feel so out of the loop over here but through Facebook and email we can stay a little more connected. So thankful for that.

Updated list of things we could use:

MISC

-Baby Wipes

-Anti bacterial hand soap (not the instant sanitizer)

-Children's Benadryl (off brand)

-Lactaid pills (i'm lactose intolerant)

-Cleaning wipes

-Tupperware* all sizes. we have to put EVERYTHING in GOOD quality, air tight tupperware to keep things from bugs.

FOOD (please put food in ziplock bag, so the rats don't smell/eat it)

-*Cereal (any kid friendly)

-Kid Snacks (cheez-it's, granola bars, chex mix, crackers, pretzels, etc.)

-Instant dinners (hamburger/tuna helper, rice/noodle sides, mac n' cheese...)

-Brownie, cookie, funfetti cake mix, pancake mix

-salad dressing mix (italian, fiesta ranch, etc)

-chocolate chips, toffee, pecans, walnuts, etc. (for baking)

-Drink mix (kool aid, lemonade, tea, etc.)

-Mayonnaise (in plastic jar, regular or light)

FUN

-Kids/Family board games

-Cards/Stationary

-Jar Candles (citrus & tropical fruity stuff)

-Crafts for the kids

-DVD's (used is great, too:Wonder Pets, Fresh Beat Band, My Friends Tigger & Pooh, anything really…. movie or TV series for us)

****Pictures of your family! We would love to show the kids who you are and to pray for you as a family.****

Please send to: Justin & Lauren Rees

P.O. Box 625

Wewak, ESP 531

Papua New Guinea

First PNG Christmas

Christmas morning we woke up to a beautiful rainy day! it was cooler than most days and stayed that way all day. It was a great way to start the morning; praising God for Him being that personal to give us some "winter" weather.

The kids woke up, we prayed as a family and then went to check out the tree. It was pretty fun since the kids really had no idea what was about to happen. I had ordered the kid's presents on amazon and had them sent over with a friend in october. And my mom sent some gifts over too.

As for Justin's gift it was 2 gatorade's, a 3.5 oz bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos, and a twix bar that i found in Goroka when Pax and I were seeing the Doctor. Things are different but it was fun to start our own traditions. Like cinnamon rolls fro breakfast and spending the whole day as a family, playing (dressing up! thanx grandma)and watching movies.

It was completely relaxing and we got to Skype with both sides of the family. No complains and looking forward to our next Christmas in the tribe!

Here is our friend who dressed up as Father Christmas for a local church.

Who would have thought...

Well our time in the tribe was amazing. God taught us more than we could have imagined through the Yembi Church and the Missionaries who have been there in the tribe for 8 years. I remember how nervous we were going into the tribe thinking “what if God shows us we can’t do it?”. Being on the other side I do think God showed us we can’t apart from Him and it encouraged our hearts to know that we are in this for Him and that is it! Now we have plenty to think about and pray through as we are planning to allocate to a tribe in the near future.

Here are some highlights and interestingthings I learned about life in the jungle.

WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT…

-The jungle sounds like the city at night? Every night when I would get ready to go to bed I would hear the jungle come to life- and it is loud! I never knew that birds could make sounds like beeping and ring tones, sirens and horns. You know the sound on a school playground swing set, the one of the squeaky chain when a kid is swinging? Well yeah, that was out there. It was my favorite however at the same time the most terrible sound over and over! But they were all such familiar sounds that I found myself wondering, which came first: The technology that I know to be author of those sounds or the wildlife?

-Cockroaches Fly! Every night we would turn off all the lights except in the room we were in to conserve power since it is all solar/battery run. So whenever we would enter a new room and turn on the lights cockroaches would scatter into the cabinets, closets and anywhere to escape the light. It was gross but one night when I turned on the light I must have freaked one of them out because it totally came flying at me and landed on my shirt!!!! The only thing worst than that is when one runs UP your leg. (Know that from personal experience too)

-A Crocodile would be on my Table. Some tribalpeople caught a baby crocodile and we thought it would be fun to show the kids and take pictures with it. So Justin went and grabbed it from our friends and he put it on the table for the kids to find! It’s mouth and back legs were tied and the kids played with it like it was a dangerous as a kitten. (I think Justin wore it out before the kids got to it)

-I would miss my “city” ants. You all know my struggle with the ants. Tribal ants are just that- tribal! I thought my ants were bad but these took things to a whole new level! They were literally everywhere: on my tooth brush, in the bed, in the refrigerator, in the oven and even on the clothesline, so I would hang up my “clean” laundry when I took them down they had ants all over them! They were always ahead of my and knew that they could make me break (which happen once)! One night at dinner Paisley was praying “ Jesus thank you Brooks and Nina(the missionary couple in the tribe with us),For Oma and Pa. Thank you for food and cups. Thank you for salt and thank you for all the ants that came to our house.” She was just naming items she saw on the table and it cracked me up. I guess God wants me to change my perspective on the ants and pray for my enemies…

-The Meat Bink. Pax is still attached to his binky and the tribe did not understand his affection for it but figured out an alternative to his binky. There is a bird called a Cassowary that they hunt and eat. Someone gave some meat to us to try and it was so tough and has this smell that makes you want to run away that we passed on it. But one time when we were hanging out in the village someone offered this Cassowary to pax and he loved it. It was so tough that he chewed on that thing for about 3 hours! And threw it away because we could handle the smell of it on him anymore. So we declared it the MEAT BINK. (Here's a pix of a cassowary egg-kinda looks like a dinosaur egg)

- I lived out The Jungle Cruise. As I was paddling a dug out canoe with some tribal ladies on the Sepik River through “shortcuts”, it reminded me of the Jungle cruise ride at Disneyland. There was a beautiful canopy of trees over my head, parrots flying in the air, ducks randomly around a bend or two. Tree branches were sticking out of the water and were gently bob up and down just like the mechanical ones do in the ride! As we were on this adventure I asked the ladies if there were any crocodiles in the waters we were going through and they said yes, like it was obvious. I am thankful to report that in MY jungle cruise (PNG style) I did NOT see a crocodile. All that to say, it’s really incredible how well Disneyland has replicated a true jungle experience AND I can say that my time spent at Disneyland has helped prepare me for the jungle!

Thanks for reading and would love to hear your feedback!