I have never smoked. It has never appealed to me and I think it’s gross. When I was young I knew my mom would die if she found out I tried it so I just avoided it. Both my mom’s parents smoked and she hated it . I remember the smell being entrapping and lingering- yuck. So I have made it through my life 28 years smoke-free and thought it would never be something I’d ever do.
So why am I sharing my feelings on smoking? Because I have been hit with a dilemma. Here in Pei they have had exposure to some religiosity. They have heard certain things about “God” and what He likes and doesn’t. In Pei they think that if you smoke God won’t be happy with you- which they have no idea what that means but lets keep moving forward with the story. They think the same thing if you chew beetle nut., which is their all time favorite thing to chew. It’s like the tribal version of gum, it help curb they’re hunger and it grows everywhere around here, so it’s as easy as getting a Costco supply of it. Someone in Pei recently pointed out that I don’t smoke or chew beetlenut and esteemed my behavior as something to be followed. Here I was just going about my days thinking that I was flying under the radar and not drawing attention. Quiet the opposite came to light. So the easy solution is to chew the beetlenut right? Nope, tried that and threw up. It’s really bitter and somehow dries out your mouth while simultaneously making you spit! Anyway I couldn’t get through that part of the process and it was only the first step of 3. But I don’t want to smoke, so what do I do and is it really a big deal?
Recently I have was reading in 1 Corinthians 10 and stumbled across this: “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God….For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved.” Vs 31& 33(b). It’s funny but I really felt like God was asking me to give up me freedoms of not smoking in order for my Pei friends to be challenged in their thinking.
See the thing is, it is a big deal for them to understand that God doesn’t accept us based on what we do or don’t do. Everything is about Jesus. Who He is, what He has done for us forever and that’s it. We can not earn God’s approval or manipulate Him by our behavior. When we Believe in Jesus we are no longer ourselves but we are seen in Christ. This is why my family is here living in a tribe, learning the language and culture. It so important to stay here and be able to understand the beliefs they are already holding on to, the darkness that they have been slaves to and how we can most effectively explain (in their own language) who Jesus is. And the Truth about the Christian life and be here to disciple them- do life with them and watch the Holy Spirit change the Pei ‘s thinking.
It’s interesting that I was holding on to this issue like I was in control of it. I have already “sacrificed” so much- I live in the jungle, my kids don’t know what a farm or a movie theater is! But God so sweetly reminded me that I have died and He has given me new life. I am nothing apart from Him and my honor is to bring others into His Saving presence. So 3 days ago- I smoked! In front of half the village while they were playing volleyball. Everyone noticed and turned and looked at me- it was hilarious. And I hated every moment of it, burned my tongue and the taste was stuck in my mouth for 2 days. But I did it unto the Lord.
So thankful for a God that is intimately involved in my life where He challenges me to grow in Grace and to draw people to Himself.
