The Birth Day Story

It started like a normal day I was outside with the two kids.  Esther came around and asked if i knew Maria was in labor. I didn't. I wanted to see Maria so I asked if it was culturally appriate to go see her. Esther said it was so I let my co-workers know had Justin watch the kids and into the village we went at 9:00am

Here is the labor and delivery room.

As we approached I noticed new construction under a familiar house. This is customary as Pei women prepare to give birth. When the labor starts to pick up, some friends will make this little fenced off area under a house for you to get "more comfortable" in. It's also to keep eyes away as men are not allowed to see the woman/girl until the baby is delivered and both mom and baby have spent 1-2 nights outside, in the "recovery" room (picture to follow). So we get there and sit down with some ladies on a canoe flipped over like a bench and get filled in. Maria is probably 15 or 16 years old. No one here knows their age so it's a guessing game. Maria is one of my tribal daughters. Each one of us have been adopted into families and Maria's actual mom is my big sister. Make sense? Anyway back to the labor. Maria had been in labor since the previous day. Which was funny because I was having a language session with her, recording her voice and hanging out with her and she never mentioned it! But she also never shared with the tribe publicly that she was pregnant. She is not married so the whole situation is a little hush hush. When morning came she was unable to deny that a baby was coming.

After hearing from the ladies I asked my big sister if I could come into the "room". Mind you there were about 5 kids and 3 adults in the area. She said yes and I was in. I just sat around the fire that was there and watched. I took out my iPod and started timing her contractions. They were all over the place and it seemed like she was getting through them alright. The baby was not head down so some lady's were trying to direct the baby down by rubbing it into position. I knew we had a while to go and I should document the event...

The labor hanger

Around 11:00 I went to my house to get her some water and to check in with Justin. I grabbed a bit to eat, filled him in, and headed back to the "labor ward". When I got there I decided to join in on cooking the leaves over the fire. This process is simple but somehow became a difficult one. All you do is tie a bunch of these Tanget leaves together and hold them over the fire turning them till they are hot. Then when she starts to squirm from the rising contraction you pass them to the ladies closest to her and they rub them on her wherever she directs. Simple right? Not entirely.

Getting the leave hot

There were so many unsupervised kids in and out of this small cramped space and they were handling the leaf heating up station...yeah... not a good idea. They were playing and not preparing for the next wave to hit. Maybe it's because I have experienced the pain of child birth without pain medicine and know the intensity of contractions that this was irritating to me. I decided to take over heating the leaves. This got the kids excited and before I knew it there were kids climbing on my back, playing with my hair and trying to teach me the proper way to tie the leaves up. Then it became a competition of whose leaves would I heat up first, so on and so forth. After about an hour everyone got bored and I found myself and my co-worker in the "room" alone with Maria. So were now the ones to rub the hot leaves on her when contractions came. At some point during this phase the girl's dad came in with a chunk of raw ginger root for her to eat. She said it burn her mouth and take the pain away!?!? Yeah or you have two different kinds of pain at the same time- not so fun, but interesting.

Things began to progress and her contractions were getting very strong and coming consistently. It was crazy to be in there watching everything and how everyone was interacting. The girl would scream out for her mom with each contraction and her mom had this whatever attitude. She didn't come close or come to comfort her or encourage her. It is so contrary to what I've experienced. The disconnect or care between them was jarring to me. Then her water broke... on my foot. It is hard to escape when everyone is squatting in a huddle surrounded by a wall of Palm leaves.
The time came and she was ready to start trying to push. As Maria was squatting and hanging onto this rope I was asked to move up to the "front row" to be ready to check things out. I moved forward with one other lady, Madrina. Then one lady got behind Maria and held her like she was hugging her. As each contraction came she squeezed Maria's stomach and pushed the baby down. There was a lot of screaming and kids coming in the middle to see what was going on. I thought it was the craziest thing... until at the next contraction a pig walked in through the fence! I immediately started making weird sounds with my mouth trying to imitate the way people scare off animals. It was one of those moments where you stop and think, where am I? I ended up throwing a stick at the pig and with some help from the others we got it out.

The moment came and the lady who was pushing on Maria's belly told me to look on the next one to see if there was much progression. Sure enough we saw the head! She came out on the following contraction and fell onto the pile of leaves placed there for her. This was the scariest moment as the baby on the pile of leaves looked completely lifeless. It was at that moment I started praying and freaking out in my head. The baby wasn't moving or breathing. I felt like as the seconds dragged on I was leaning in and everyone else was backing up. Someone said "she's dead".
NO! was the only thing that came to mind, no way this was happening. I looked at the new mother and she seemed apathetic to the whole thing. When I surveyed the room all eyes were on me.
I said, "she's not breathing. We need to pick her up and clear out her mouth." Crickets... No one would touch her. For some reason or another their belief system doesn't permit them to touch a new born. I can't know why or the details until I progress further in language. But they all said I could if I wanted to or "whatever you want to do" is how I can best translate it. I quickly prayed and wrestled through my head what I should do. If i picked her up and she was dead what would the implications be for me and what would the tribe do or want from our team. On the other hand if I didn't and she died without me doing anything... I thought to myself "i'm picking her up." Justin had sent me down a towel, a paper blanket, baby wipes and gloves. I put them on as quickly as possible. The scene was quite messy. I picked her up and slightly panicked in mind. She was lifeless and had no control or movement when I touched her. I thought I might accidentally break her neck trying to turn her over in these slippery gloves! Thankfully I didn't. I turned her over and tried clearing her mouth with the old hook technique. Some gooey stuff came out but no response. Two ladies grabbed sticks and started poking her and tapping on her trying to elicit a response. Nothing still. I decided I needed to hold her with one hand (her chest/belly and head) and with the other pat on her back. So I transition and started patting her. Still nothing, I tried the mouth swipe again and then back to the patting. After what felt like 10 minutes, probably 2 or 3 she let out a tiny baby sigh. Not a cry or even coughing, a sweet sigh! I was praising the Lord and completely humbled in that moment. I still can't believe it happened.

I laid her down on the bed of leaves as the ladies resumed tapping her with sticks. She never cried but started to wiggle a little. I was so confused and just wanted to hear that baby scream and cry so I knew she was fine. The only thing I could think was that it is SO hot and humid in Pei that the temperature wasn't shocking to her. Which gives you a pretty good idea of how hot and gross it is here- like a womb!

I grabbed a couple wipes and handed them to a lady who started cleaning up her face. The mom laid down and went to sleep. Maria hadn't touched the baby, expressed happiness or even smiled at her. After the baby was wiped down I asked to hold her again as the ladies were starting to clean up the scene.  I was moved to the entrance with the baby. Holding her reminded me of when Paisley was born with big brown eyes and wide awake.

As i was holding her my right hand lady in the Madrina was retelling the story in Pefiyahe.
Meanwhile, Maria was woken up, stripped down and had 2 buckets of water dumped on her to clean her up. This was all right in front of everyone. She got some different clothes and went into the corner to rest.

Madrina said to me, "you have to name her". I quickly looked at Maria and was like "Thank you but no, you name her." Maria said no, that i had to. Madrina than explain that, I gave her life so I had to name  her!  I told them I would think about it. I gave the baby to Maria and decided it was time to hit the shower and sanitize!!
As i was walking up to the house i saw Justin and the kids on the porch. He asked me how it was going and i said "i just delivered the baby". He was like no way and then i shared the whole story and that they wanted me to name her. Justin was in disbelief- me the one who: passes out when i get shots, gets faint when people talk about their things going on inside their bodies and don't even start with your lymph nodes- gross. But i just delivered a baby in the jungle. I can honestly say that i never thought i would do that or be able too. It just allows me to see that in my weakness His power is made perfect. All the glory to God- nothing inside me, Lauren could do that.

Here is where Mom and Baby stayed for 2 nights after her birth.

It's custom for them to sleep outside for 2 nights with a baby girl and 1 night if it's a boy. No man or boy was allowed to see the Mom or baby during this time.








 

When she is allowed back into the house she can't come through the front door, but has to make a new ladder and a separate side entrance.

It was hard to know what to do in this whole situation. I wanted to sit back and see what they do and learn about there culture but it was challenging me in so many areas.
I remember thinking how weird it was that no one was fawning over this baby and that the mom didn't want to HOLD or stare at her for that matter. So different and revealing. It showed me why we are here. It showed me how important it is for this sweet baby have the chance at a physical life and a chance to know her Creator. To be completely loved and delighted in, by Him. It is so cool to be here and hopefully watch a people group come to know and love Jesus and see their whole world change.

This is when we named her

It's common in Pei to name someone after a relative that has past away. I choose to follow that thought and named her after my grandmother. Her maiden name was Blake.

Thank you for all your encouraging words and prayers as we continue to do life with these people, learning their language and culture so we can effectively share the Gospel.
(Side note: Since Maria is not married she will give the baby away. Her cousin, who is a young single man has offered to take her since no one else wanted her because she's a girl. )